7 posts tagged “clomid”
Oooookeee…
Well, I’m back. Ta-da!
Update time.
On October 2nd I had my first positive pregnancy test, on October 3rd I had my second. (Just to be on the safe side.) Of course, October 3rd was the “Shiny Toy Guns” concert at Promo West so we did a little rock-out and left right after the set.
Note about pregnancy tests: I know they tell you to wait 2 or 3 minutes or whatever before you read it but I swear that I had barely set it down and finished up peeing before it came up with that + with the control line lighter than the result line on both occasions. Silent shock took over.
On October 9th we went in for our first “confirmation” (where they do an in office pregnancy test) appointment with Dr. Balaloski who came highly recommended for personality and knowledge… later to find out that our good friends (and old neighbors) Zach & Lisa also had Dr. B. as their OB for their daughter Mekenna. Unfortunately for Dr. B. (Very fortunately for Lisa) he didn’t make it to the hospital in time for the delivery as the labor was very fast.
On October 19th we went in for our second “consultation” visit plus first ultrasound! This is where it gets interesting… the Doctor and Nurses thought I was 13 or so weeks along because my last recorded menstrual cycle was July 7th. I assured them that THIS particular information could be very misleading as I have never had a regular cycle and it was highly possible that I simply did not bleed in August when my cycle came around. It was no surprise to me that this held true. I was in fact 8 weeks and a few days along, not 13 as would have been right if they counted from my last CONFIRMED cycle.
The ultrasound shows the womb, the black mass inside said womb is the placenta… the shape inside is my bean. The live feed of the encounter showed a steady fluttering heartbeat in the middle of that bean shape. Wow. It hit home. Nothing can prepare you for the wonder of seeing this mythological thing that you hear of other people having, you know you once were but never really believed would be happening TO you but THERE IT IS!!! It does exist!
We have MiniKam! (For lack of a proper gender name) BTW, it's either Kol or Ivy.
Another note: The technician found a rather large cyst on one of my ovaries. Apparently this is not uncommon after taking Clomid. BTW, I had stopped Clomid in May… she’s still trying to credit it for the pregnancy. I’m not 100% sure on that myself but she seems to think so.
I had been having occasional morning sickness off and on, “Preggie Pops” and “Preggie Pop Drops” work beautifully. It’s basically sugar with flavoring. They sell the same thing under another label for motion sickness and nausea so that people who AREN’T preggers can take them without having people look at them funny. Morning sickness has pretty much gone away, now I just cough myself sick… ungh.
On November 6th we had our first “social” visit where we went through some of the changes, voiced concerns and had questions answered. We told Dr. B. about my sinus/upper respiratory infection plus poison ivy. Neither are harmful to an unborn baby, for the record. It’s common for a cough to linger for pregnant women after a serious cold. As unfortunate as this is, there’s not much that you can do about it. No cold medicine, no Vicks Vapor Rub, no cough drops and no menthol in your vaporizer. *sigh* AFTER 13 weeks, it’s generally considered ok to take Sudafed.
I am currently 12 weeks and 2 days according to the due date that our ultrasound technician gave us. Interesting note on ultrasounds and babies… the earlier along you are the more accurate the predicted due date is within a couple of days because the fetus progresses and changes rapidly over those first 10 weeks. After that it looks about the same (save for changing size) though the rest of your pregnancy.
Our next appointment “social” visit is on December 11th. We will be 16 weeks pregnant (the earliest that they could possibly check gender with ultrasound. From there Dr. B. will schedule our next ultrasound which will hopefully be the “And our baby is…” day. It’s killing me to not know, the last thing I want in my nursery is pastel yellow and green. GROSS!!! I’d like to know if I can do blue or pink and I’ll like even more to not have to do it all the day after I deliver.
I’ve had a few people scoff at me for wanting to know the gender, my reply is “Why not?” and their reply is usually “because it’s supposed to be a surprise!!” To which I use my infinite logic and retort “It’s still a surprise, now or later, it’s still a surprise! You just choose when you want to receive it and I’m satisfied with knowing that the day that I deliver will still be a delight beyond delight, even knowing already what it will be.” After that, they usually shut up and go away because it is realized that not everybody shares a same viewpoint and it’s wrong to try to force yours on another person.
We imagine that the end of December or early January will be the telling date. If not, we’ll schedule a 4D with one of the clinics around town… It’s surprisingly less expensive than I thought. $260 for their most expensive package. Not bad, not bad at all… though I’m not going for that one, I’ll go for the $165 one methinks. Good balance in cost and included package things.
So that’s where I sit. Can’t wait for my pillow to show up on the 19th and I can get some decent sleep again. I’ve never been a sound sleeper but pregnancy is exhausting. Not being comfortable when you sleep makes it worse so I recommend taking early sleeping precautions, get used to pillows between the knees… avoid back sleeping (because you’re going to HAVE to shortly) Laying flat on your back restricts and can even STOP the flow of blood to your uterus. Bad thing. Also, if you’re a belly sleeper like myself, you better learn to like side sleeping and quick!
I joined a free site that has a lot of women who are trying to conceive, women who are already pregnant and women who are mothers. It’s been fun and educational… everyone is so nice. The forums are full of useful info on fertility and conception to what kind of sippy cup should your toddler use. If you’re reading and have an interest, send me a private message with an email and I’ll invite you. (Yes, I get referral points but it’s no big deal, it’s just for the leader boards in your Mommy Teams.)
Ok, I’m winded… sorry so much in a single post but I’m too lazy to break it down. : )
I've had a rough week and a half. Been an emotional train wreck and a physical dump.
Yes, I had my cycle (I know you were just dying to know that) and it wreaked havoc on my body & soul. Drained every ounce of life out of me till Monday I just came home, hit the treadmill for 15 minutes and crashed. I slept for 13 or so hours till 6 AM the yesterday morning. I've been so down that Darren actually said today, "Well you must be feeling better, your homicidal tendencies are coming back!" after a round of my rantings at a particularly offending driver who dared to look at me.
Truth be told, yeah I'm feeling a little better today. More angry at the world than depressive and tired. I swear, if I were shot down right now, my body would bounce back up and I'd go all rage-zombie on the world or something. Ok, so maybe I'm not THAT bad... but it WAS a fun imagination sequence. "RAWR!!!!"
Not taking the Clomid this time around, didn't call the Dr. either. I don't care. I'm not worried about it anymore. I'm just going to concentrate on making myself better. I want my husband to look at me and see the girl that he fell in love with... not this sad excuse for a water retaining sea cow "Oh my god, that's your wife?" person.
Maybe if I lost the extra 67lbs. (Which is after all of my banner photos were taken, thus why I used my old photos) I'd feel better about myself, more confident and I wouldn't get so depressive about the whole baby thing. Then I can try that again.
I donno.
Been feeling pretty low about some of my friends lately too... I'm always there for them, they're rarely there for me. Then again, I don't really go around blabbing my problems to everyone and I refuse to ask for help from anyone. I have personal issues that I don't talk about publicly, not to friends, not in blogs. Not my friends because I don't bother people with most of my issues and the blogs are pretty obvious.
Anymore I can't even do something nice for someone else because it's like they expect me to do these nice things and don't care if I get stepped on. It's like my feelings don't matter but I had better be there to make things right for someone else. I don't ask for anything in return.
I don't mean I want anything back from anybody, I just mean that it would be nice if I didn't get the shaft all the time. It sucks to fall for guilt trips like I have been lately. It sucks to be nice. No wonder I've been a bitch this week.
I've been pretty off on blogging lately, just haven't had it in me.
A brief update on my world as I see it:
Just got back from our Anniversary vacation in Boston, it was very lovely (even though it was unseasonably HOT!) We saw many things, MIT Museum of Technology, New England Aquarium, The Museum of Science, Harvard, Quincy Market and checked out several pubs in the area. Very nice! I would go back to Boston again!
The last set of Clomid went off a little funny... not funny "ha ha." I had terrible hot flashes, strange mood swings, cramps and fatigue. That last dose was May 27th. I did not have a cycle in June and I tested negative for pregnancy on Sunday. I feel like I'm starting to have something kin to PMS now so we'll see how that goes. It was kind of a blessing to not have a cycle in June since our vacation would have landed right on top of it. Anyway, I'm a little freaked about taking Clomid again if it's going to be that weird. I was fine all the other times though... weird.
Going to Red, White & Boom tonight. If you're not from Ohio, I'll explain. It's huge... like huge-huge. They shut down half of Columbus for the event and there are masses of people flooding the streets and the riverfront. It's kind of like New Years Eve @ Time Square if you were to look at it from above. Crazy! They prepare a fireworks display cued to music that they play over loud speakers and FM radio. It lasts for about 30 minutes but events and bands play all evening long.
We were extremely lucky to get wrist bands to an exclusive party that's fenced off in a huge parking lot with security, dinner and an excellent view of the display. I hope to find a hot spot for some wifi. : ) *fingers crossed* The boys will be playing cards most of the time so I'm on my own.
Probably going down to Baltimore, Ohio or Bexley, Ohio tomorrow for festivities and fireworks. I love the 4th of July... let freedom ring in the form of thousands of fireworks thundering across the nation!!! Ok, so I like the sparkling lights! : ) It's ok, I have ADHD! : P
Unless they were looking at credit card debt, most people would love to see these real numbers. Me? Not so much. Just a random sampling of invoice totals sitting on my desk, all of them waiting to combine and make big beautiful checks.
*sigh* What I would give to have one for myself…
I found myself on autopilot yesterday and it was mildly disturbing. I had to go back to see if I did things properly, thus I wasted some time. It wasn’t a huge deal but it IS a weird feeling to look down and see the stack of papers about the size of a 500 count ream reduced to a handful of 10-20 in what seems like mere seconds. I’m not complaining about that, just that I had to go back and re-check what I had done to make sure it was correct. (not that I doubted myself, but I am held accountable if a $20,000 check ends up being a $25,000 accident or no.) Mistakes are rarely made and if made, are caught quickly.
It is a Bloodhound Gang morning. Listening to “Frosh Two” and it’s getting ready to cue “One Fierce BeerCoaster.” Humor is my savior. Without humor I think I would drown in a sea of red and black - & + signs. LOL
It is a slow morning. I purchased a new Java Monster drink in “Loca Moca” flavor. Mighty tasty but a bit too sweet. I’m glad I also got a bottle of Tropicana Fruit Squeeze “Lime Raspberry” flavor. Ah, fruit juice water. Yes, it does remind me of Cherry Limeade.
I have decided to give up on baby making for a while... it's extremely stressful and the studies show that the use of Clomid after 6 months do not show any marked increase success rate. In fact, they state that if you haven't been succesful in the first 6 months, chances are very slim that it's going to work for you. Indeed. So I will visit the doctor in August or so and take the next step but I'm tired of the rollercoaster of getting my hopes up and having them dashed time and time again.
So yeah... that's about it.
Darren’s Grandma Gretta hit the ER late Saturday morning over at Mt. Carmel. We went over around 5:30 to see how she’s doing. She was in and out of sleep like a narcoleptic on a sleigh ride. That was weird, she’s usually wide awake. The woman is in her 90’s and she’s an old Jewish grandmother. In case you didn’t know… Jewish grandmothers can dish out some of the biggest guilt trips known to man. Second only to the little puppies and kittens that you see at the pet shelter.
We all thought she was crying a bit of “wolf” again but it seems like the tests came back as her kidneys are not cleaning as they should be… no surprise for someone her age. Grandma Gretta is frail and VERY sensitive. The RN was flushing an IV and she cried out… the saline burned. She was admitted Saturday night.
Got to see Planet 12 get together one last time. It was an energy filled show, I’ve got video (not great video) to splice up tonight and post on YouTube. They played a set of 5 songs so I’m cutting it into 5 pieces to post up so it doesn’t take forever to load. I didn’t get to hear “High Walls” but they opened up with “Stay at Home” which was also one of my favorites. I hope to have at least 2 of the songs up tonight. I will link. Thanks to Michelle & Brendan for coming out with us and keeping us from feeling like we were the only two NON Band Members for that first hour and a half. (Since we were there super early.)
Sunday we went out for groceries, healthy foods. Have to workout at least 4 days a week, eat 5 times a day (HEALTHY SNACKING!!!) My Personal Trainer, Meagan says I should go on some fat burning pills and multivitamins but I’m on the prenatal and I don’t think the fat burning pills would be a good idea for someone who’s trying to conceive. : \ Something just screams “no way.”
I REALLY need to feel better about my body soon… I’m frustrated about it. While I’m very much interested in making babies, I’m having issues with how I feel and look. Darren’s frustrated because he thinks I’m being silly and he’s attracted to me anyways. Needless to say, we aren’t getting the baby making in like we should and it’s my fault.
Well, that’s why I joined a gym… right? I just wish it didn’t take so long to get back into shape. I want to FEEL attractive again! I want to have stamina and be comfortable in simple things too, like cuddling. I can’t even cuddle without feeling like I’m a sea lion.
So yet again, I’m considering telling the Dr. to not worry about my next scrip of Clomid. I just don’t think it’s going to do much good if we’re not putting in 100% ourselves.
And the rollercoaster dips down…
Went to the gym yesterday, thought I might have hurt myself but when I woke up this morning it was like nothing ever happened. I did some reasonable cardio. Hit the treadmill for 25minutes on a varying incline between 1.0-3.5. Speed between 2.5-3.5mph. It felt kind of good for a while, then it started to hurt… then it felt fine again.
After the treadmill I hit the bike… it was the reclined style. I took it pretty easy on the bike, it’s been years since I’ve ridden a bike at all so stationary shouldn’t be a problem, it’s just figuring out the right settings.
Picked up this month’s Clomid after a pain in the ass trying to get it.
9:15 Call Dr. to Call in Script to the Kroger near us, told to pick up after 5pm
4:39 Get call from Dr’s. office. JUST NOW calling it in. Should be ready after 5.
8:00 Go to Kroger to pick it up, told that they hadn’t filled it yet…
8:10 Told it will be another 25 minutes…
8:35 Told insurance doesn’t cover (since when?) and elect to pay at register
8:36 Told that I had to give the paper to the cashier to fetch when I check out. Apparently, they don’t allow people to hold onto their prescriptions while they check out at Kroger.
8:45 Checking out, Checked out… Waiting for Script.
8:50 LEAVE KROGER
I’m DONE with Kroger for prescriptions… I’m going back to Sam’s Club.
In other news, the Clomid (hormone kicker) must be working pretty damn well because I found myself hurling up Granny Smith & Bile Flavored Chunky Apple Sauce this morning. (Heh, that should be a new flavor of desert in the Japanese supermarkets! XD I’m horrible.) Either that or the apple made me sick… which I doubt.
Whatever. I’m just happy that I’m not HUNGRY. : )
Spoke with Tod from Lifestyle Family Fitness Center in Gahanna, Ohio. Nice guy. Darren and I are going in after work for our tour and first visit. Of course, Darren forgot his tennis shoes... oops.
I read an article a couple days ago about a scientific study on couples trying to conceive. Interesting reading as they state that it takes your average couple about a year to have their first baby full term.
Apparently, for couples who are overweight, this is 1.5 times longer on average... and if the couple is full blown obese they should expect to wait about 3 times as long (about THREE years!!!)
Now, Darren and I are both lucky enough to not be obese but we've been slowly gaining wait for the past 3 years... so today is the day of change for us.
It is also rumored that regular exercise can help manage/balance hormones in both sexes. Hormones are part of my problem... why I'm on the Clomid. We could be killing to proverbial birds with the same stone! That would be lovely!
Also, I'd love to feel good about myself again. To be that flirtatious social adventurer that I used to be. To be unashamed of this spare tire I've got inflating around my middle and to be able to fit my butt in the rocking chair that my mother gave me.
Step 1: Diet
Step 2: Workout
Step 3: Confidence
