9 posts tagged “friends”
I have just signed up for my first ever Marathon. The "Flying Feather Four Miler" in Dublin, Ohio. We've registered and paid... good to go!
November 22, 2007, 9am — Dublin, Ohio
If you are interested in walking with us, registration is $30 per person and they're only taking the first 2000 participants to ensure that it's not overcrowded and whatnot.
The Lowdown on the Package, Participants Receive:
• A bottle of Corazon Club & Spa's private label wine
(Or cookies for persons under 21)
• Long Sleeve Technical Running Shirt
• A pair of running gloves and a hat courtesy of Fleet Feet Polaris
• Corazon Club & Spa Gift Certificates
• $10 off the Capital City Half Marathon OR $5 off the Commit to be Fit 5k
(if registered for the Flying Feather by September 30th.)
• Food and beverages at the finish line
• The Big Honkin' Penguin Medal
So yeah, that'll be a good Thanksgiving… for health, for charity and for stuff.
As you all know very well... Luna does not run unless there is something terribly wrong in the direction that I'm coming from so we're walking.
Anybody want to walk with us? Better sign up quick!
Why I feel bad… This is the first cancellation in 9 years...
I try to please as many people as possible when planning a party… this years Helloween threw me off so hard that I'm starting to believe that some strange force is pushing for it to not happen.
Why do I think this?
Well I'll put it in a list form to explain how it seems like there's a strange force in play…
1.) The first weekend of October has been reserved by our friends Jim & Jodi for their Housewarming party.
2.) PAPA was moved to October this year instead of the usual August so that threw out the weekend of the 12th, 13th & 14th.
3.) James is having his birthday party at Cedar Point on the 20th and we are supposed to be there for the weekend.
4.) Mom & Jamie both have situations that would prevent them from coming if we held it on the last weekend of the month and might draw me away from the party if I did plan it for Saturday, October 27th.
5.) AMOA is the weekend of September 29th, among other things.
I hated the thought of having Helloween in September but what can you do? So, against my gut feeling… I went ahead and planned Helloween for the last weekend in September, the 29th. Since the weekend before is Yom Kippur and this weekend is taken up. Not to mention the already incredibly short notice to begin with.
Many of our friends on the invite list are out of town on the 29th for various reasons, the main being AMOA but others involve more personal matters. Either way it's not their fault that I forgot when AMOA was so I don't blame them…
So instead of putting them through the painful task of having to decline, I went ahead and cancelled it. It just wasn't meant to be this year. It just wasn't meant to be.
I feel bad because I'm afraid people think I'm cancelling it just because of AMOA which is not true... it's because of the month, AMOA and so many other things going on right now. It's nobody's fault, really. I just feel like a moron for trying and failing.
It's Innisbrook Season…
This is the season where students nationwide get their little books of goodies and dreams of cool prizes. Their eyes full of hope that you’ll buy one of everything in the catalogue…
This is the season where it sucks to be popular with the local kids. XD
Lexi, John & Sandra Vargo’s daughter and our neighbor, came over with her Innisbrook catalogue all excited to sell something to “Amanda!” for her Kindergarten class. I open the door and she spills over the pages of pretty wrapping paper and chocolates.
*sigh*
My heart is too big to say no, that and the fact that I remember being that age and how hard it was to find buyers. Let’s face it, nobody wants to purchase something that is so obviously overpriced… but… their little smiles saying that they trust you to help them get to that next tier in cool prizes. It’s too much to resist!!!
So I agreed to make a purchase from Miss Vargo.
A friend and “distant” neighbor in our community, Michael & Andra Gardner’s daughter is also in Kindergarten this year and has brought home an Innisbrook catalogue and dreams of a $100 BestBuy card if she sells 100 items. Awwwwwssss… Bless her heart if Cheryl doesn’t dream big. ^ ^
I have my two commitments, I’m turning the other kids away… not that I wouldn’t buy something from them if they had something under $5… but I just can’t afford to drop $10-30 on each kid that stops by. *sigh*
Well... at least when we have a kid, we'll probably have the only one in the community and we'll be able to reap the neighborhood of their $20s with ease. (Ok, so that was a bad train of thought... oh well) ; )
Weekends are never long enough. 
Finally had some time to do NOTHING on Friday night. It was good. Stayed up and watched Weird Al polka videos on YouTube (as well as looking up favorites, of course.) Found some bunnies behind the house, been watching over them all weekend… I have a holey bucket covering them by day to protect them from the neighborhood calico whom has been known to leave dead bunnies in her owners back yard. By night I remove the bucket so momma can come feed her babies. Wild rabbits nurse once a night for about 15 minutes, the rest of the time they spend away so they don't draw attention to the babies.
They are doing very well! When I come out in the mornings, they have fat little bellies and they're just a little fussy. In the evening the fat bellies are gone and they start to get a little needy... it's cute.
Saturday was the big community block party… not that many people showed up. Minor disappointment. We had the Jefferson Fire Department come out, we fed them burgers and they gave the kids little bags full of fire safety coloring books, pencils and toys. That's awesome! I had to run interference on the babies after Lexi told some people about them. We all hung out until 8 or so and then some people went home while others headed over to our house to sit by the fire pit a while. Marshmallows were roasted. We hung out until midnight or so. Apparently, I'm still a kid magnet because I got a lot of love and nobody wanted to go home.
Sunday I woke up uber late… seriously, it was 12:30. Dave & Sonny were coming over in a couple hours so we got to work thawing another 25lb. block of ribs. We used the utility sink this time and they thawed a lot faster and easier. We set out four quarters of a rack and vacuum sealed the rest for the freezer. The boys came over around 5, they played cards while I finished making another batch of my BBQ sauce. I need to put a label on that stuff. It is teh yum. We had dinner, corn on the cob & ribs! After a good hand washing, they played cards well into the evening.
I went out to uncover the babies around 9 and they kept trying to crawl out of the nest! Every time I'd get them covered up by the bits of fur fluff, one would wiggle its way out. So I just poked the furry little head back into the rabbit hole one last time and went inside hoping that they'd realize that I wasn't mom ready to nurse and settle down.
Around 4 or 5 this morning the storms woke me up. I closed the bedroom window and lay awake thinking about the poor little darlings getting drenched. I kept reminding myself that nature has a way of helping outdoor animals cope with rain and storms but I couldn't help thinking that will all the rain out there, they could very well drown if enough water got into their nest.
I came out this morning to either A) Cover them with the bucket or B) Scoop them all up into a bowl to bring with me to work… I wasn't sure how good/bad a night they had. I came out and they were well covered and sleeping peacefully. They had a guest… a pinkie sized yellow slug. Ew. I removed it from the nest. They were all pretty damp but when I picked up "Spike" his belly was full and round. I did a quick head count. All accounted for. Might as well leave them to be for the day with the bucket to protect them from the storms. Momma will be back again tonight to care for her babies.
Awful lot of slugs in our back yard though… I counted 6 from the steps to the bunny nest. Ew. I dislike slugs.
I'll take more photos when I get home this evening.
A few people have asked why I haven't just taken them inside... well, I want to do what is best for them and taking them inside would only cause them a slow and painful death as they wouldn't get the very special imunity and important stomach bacteria they need from eating their mothers CTs, which is a type of fecal matter that they produce and eat only at night. Sound gross? Not really, many animals do that. Just be glad WE don't.
Anyways without that special night fecal snack, they would die shortly after eating solid foods because their body couldn't process the solids and they would have horrible diarhea on their way out the door. Sorry, I just can't do that. They've got to have a chance to live. I can protect them half of the time, at night... they're on their own.
We had dinner with Jim & Jodi last night, they invited us over to their house.
When they got back from California, they searched for a reasonable fixer-upper in Columbus. They found a beautiful historic home off Broad near the OSU hospital. Jim has been staying home to fix up the house while Jodi works... I can't remember for SURE but I believe it is for an environmental type agency.
Jim has been looking for a job around C-bus and thinks he may have found something with the local Habitat for Humanity fixing up their databases and so on and so forth.
Can you tell that these kids are serious about doing something good for the world? They're adorable... speaking of adorable, their cats... Mr. Kitty & Sweetie (I think?) are some of the cutest cats ever, they have such round faces and ears (unlike our girls who have sharp features.)
We had artichokes, a blend of roasted veggies (potato, zucchinis, asparagus and so forth) and chicken marinated in mustard, vinegar & some sort of hot pepper.
We talked of playing cards, our yards, neighbors and all the good and bad that comes with it. Their house is beautiful, a lot of lovely old wood, fireplaces and decorative ceilings. They’ve replaced some tile and wood upstairs and Jim added a wall here, knocked out a wall there… all without destroying the charm of the house. The cats were loving on us and drooling a little… it’s cute but ew! Hahaha
The boys talked of “the old days” of drinking and smoking cigars in their friends basement… yes, Darren… CIGARS. Hilarious.
There was a lot of chit-chat before we went home. Jodi picked some fresh Basil, Sage & Rosemary from the herb garden… I’m so jealous that they can grow herbs! We said our goodbyes and came home. The car smelled of fresh herbs again this morning… thank you Jodi!
BTW, apparently Isis LOVES Basil because when I put it on the counter she almost immediately jumped up to sample some. No wonder I can’t grow any herbs… she eats them all. I have to give her credit for her taste, nothing beats fresh.
I've had a rough week and a half. Been an emotional train wreck and a physical dump.
Yes, I had my cycle (I know you were just dying to know that) and it wreaked havoc on my body & soul. Drained every ounce of life out of me till Monday I just came home, hit the treadmill for 15 minutes and crashed. I slept for 13 or so hours till 6 AM the yesterday morning. I've been so down that Darren actually said today, "Well you must be feeling better, your homicidal tendencies are coming back!" after a round of my rantings at a particularly offending driver who dared to look at me.
Truth be told, yeah I'm feeling a little better today. More angry at the world than depressive and tired. I swear, if I were shot down right now, my body would bounce back up and I'd go all rage-zombie on the world or something. Ok, so maybe I'm not THAT bad... but it WAS a fun imagination sequence. "RAWR!!!!"
Not taking the Clomid this time around, didn't call the Dr. either. I don't care. I'm not worried about it anymore. I'm just going to concentrate on making myself better. I want my husband to look at me and see the girl that he fell in love with... not this sad excuse for a water retaining sea cow "Oh my god, that's your wife?" person.
Maybe if I lost the extra 67lbs. (Which is after all of my banner photos were taken, thus why I used my old photos) I'd feel better about myself, more confident and I wouldn't get so depressive about the whole baby thing. Then I can try that again.
I donno.
Been feeling pretty low about some of my friends lately too... I'm always there for them, they're rarely there for me. Then again, I don't really go around blabbing my problems to everyone and I refuse to ask for help from anyone. I have personal issues that I don't talk about publicly, not to friends, not in blogs. Not my friends because I don't bother people with most of my issues and the blogs are pretty obvious.
Anymore I can't even do something nice for someone else because it's like they expect me to do these nice things and don't care if I get stepped on. It's like my feelings don't matter but I had better be there to make things right for someone else. I don't ask for anything in return.
I don't mean I want anything back from anybody, I just mean that it would be nice if I didn't get the shaft all the time. It sucks to fall for guilt trips like I have been lately. It sucks to be nice. No wonder I've been a bitch this week.
Friday, a group of peeps went to to check out the Spiderman pinball that someone had just bought. I just relaxed.
Saturday came, Jim & Lois had a kind of belated 4th of July cookout party. It was a lot of fun except for the part about everybody leaving early and all at once. Darren & I felt really bad about that, Lois had made these special personal serving cakes for desert and the majority of the people left before desert could be served.
They had planned to play cards, board games and such but we didn’t have enough people to do much of that by the time dinner was done. We could have played a 4 player board game but I kind of had plans to go see “Transformers.” I figured they’d be playing games all night so I was going to cut out a little early so I could go to the movies with Mike. See, I figured there would be plenty of people so that I wouldn’t be missed. I DID end up going to see “Transformers” and yes, it is a good movie. I'd watch it again.
Mike & I talked about careers on the way back to the house. It was an interesting topic. We got home around 1:30am, Darren was out cold.
Sunday, we got up a little late and headed out to brunch with Lois & Rich (Sorry Mike for not feeding you before we kicked you out!) Found my hope chest at their condo, I thought I had lost it! Also, was very happy to find my original Talking Baby Wurble Bear hanging out in all the baby stuff. Then we stopped at Meijer to pick up a few essentials… you know… Coffee, Tea, Shower Gel, Storage Drawers.
We spent the rest of Sunday playing WoW for the first time in about a month and a half. It was fun but I don’t think we’ll be as about it as we used to be. I ate an entire can of corn on a whim.
Didn’t sleep very well last night, had nightmares again… well, I wouldn’t say nightmares. Just bad dreams. There are good dreams, bad dreams, nightmares and terror dreams. If that puts it on a scale for you. I blame my self confidence for the recurring bad dreams. Man, there are some things you just can’t get used to seeing/feeling… even if it IS only a dream.
I took a nap last night around 6 o’clock. Just after 9 o’clock the phone rings. The caller ID says Timothy D. Foltz and he hasn’t had good news for me in years. After careful weighing of the circumstances, I answer the phone anyway.
“Hi Dad.”
Every time he’s called me in the past two years, save for I think ONCE when he called to see how Jeremy’s hike was going… he’s informed me of a death in the family or a friend. This call was no different.
I am starting to DREAD answering the calls.
Apparently, an old friend of mine, Tory (Millbaugh,) lost her fight with cancer or disease (I can’t remember which) either last night or Wednesday night. I’m still waiting for an obituary to come out. She had to be 23 or 24, she had gone in to the hospital to be “comfortable.”
We were friends when we were younger. Her mom was friends with my father… pretty damn good friends, if you know what I mean. For the record, I despise her mother for a few things that she said/did/does but I won’t go into that because this isn’t about her mom at all… just a little background.
The messed up part about this? While I was taking a shower the other night my mind wandered (as it often does) across oddball thoughts and random ideas. She came up across the random flow and I vaguely remembered Dad telling me a few months ago that she was in the hospital and she had asked a few people if I would call her. I don’t even know her current last name… but I feel awful that I didn’t call. I haven’t spoken with her in about 4 years and I remember how that call was awkward in the least. Too different to relate… nothing to talk about. Now she’s gone and there will never be a chance to try again.
The morale of this story:
No matter how apart you’ve grown from someone, no matter how different your lives are… if an old friend makes the request to see or hear from you again… do it. You may never get the chance to talk to that person again.
On a much lighter note...
...as a pregnancy journal of sorts.
Not really a pregnancy journal, as I could make one on Stork.net or something. But maybe simply a journal of how I feel while I'm trying to conceive and so on and so forth.
Like today, I'm actually OK but Friday I was an emotional mess because I found another friend is pregnant... I assume by accident but I could be wrong, and I would certainly be sorry if I were wrong. In fact, I hope I AM wrong. I'm sure she'll be an awesome mother though...
I took a pregnancy test Friday. Came back negative. I knew it would. Bad timing and a waste of Clomid. Oh well. I have to take the infertility medication in hopes that it will spur on my hormones to produce eggs and such. With luck it won't be long before it works.
If, Doctor Portman says, it does not work in about 6 months or so... we'll move on to other options.
I hope my final option isn't adoption.
Burn me, I'm an awful person but I can't adopt. I have this primal need for my OWN children... and I have this sinking feeling that I would not treat an adopted child as my own and this would not be fair to the child!
If I can not have my own children... I will have none.
Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike children or anything... I just don't think I'd be a good adoptive mother. Nor do I WANT to be an adoptive mother. Maybe that would change if it was my only choice, I don't know.
Going back to my girlfriend above, I also know that it is wrong of me to be angry at my friends for their current baby boom but I've really had enough. It wouldn't be so bad if it was one or two friends... but EVERYBODY has been getting pregnant or having babies lately and it's killing me.
I asked Darren if we could move away and start over. That's how much it hurts. I don't want to go to baby showers, I don't want to send congratulation cards.... I don't even want to talk to the new moms & dads. I want to be cut off from them. I know this is wrong... but that is truly how I feel.
I'm told that this jealousy is stupid, childish and inappropriate... in fact. I feel so guilty about it already that I don't want to have a baby shower when I DO get pregnant because I don't think it would be fair for anybody to be excited for me when I wasn't excited for anybody else.
Again, I'm told that I'm being stupid, childish & inappropriate.
Can't change the way I feel... sorry folks.
